Punished for the Crime of Being Female
I used to dream of having a daughter one day. I would fantasize about “girls’ days” on which we would go shopping together, picking out outfits for one another to try on, just as I did with my mom. I would teach her how to do her makeup and style her hair, things that I always wished my mom would do with me, but that she didn’t because she wasn’t a girly-girl like I turned out to be. Fate had a different plan for me, though, since a battle with infertility and two IVF pregnancies blessed me with two sons and no daughters. I love my sons with everything in me, but I still would catch myself staring longingly at the dresses in the little girl’s section of stores. Not anymore, though. Now, I thank God everyday that I don’t have any daughters to raise in this country. When I first had those daydreams, I didn’t yet realize that “land of the free” didn’t apply to those of us born with two X chromosomes.
I have joined many women across the country–and probably the world–in reading with horror about the story of a young Texas woman who made the mistake of thinking she could trust medical professionals in a hospital, the very same ones we are supposed to trust to save our lives in a time of crisis. I live in Virginia–a state that returned to a more conservative government after years of being led by liberals–and I can’t help but wonder if we’re next. I worry that outlawing abortions will make physicians less familiar with performing common abortion procedures, such as D&Cs, that can have other applications. About 17 months ago, an emergency D&C saved my life after I was rushed to the hospital with severe postpartum hemorrhaging. Because my doctor knew how to do the procedure, and do it well, my two young sons still have a mother. I am very glad that I don’t have any daughters who will have to share my worry.
This fight has never been about protecting life; this is about control. This is about creating a place in which women are no longer in control of anything–not our careers, not our bodies and certainly not our futures. If this was about protecting life, where are the protections for the women’s lives? Why do we even have to fight to convince lawmakers of the need to allow abortions in cases of ectopic pregnancies, when we know with 100 percent certainty that the baby is not viable and the mother will die if doctors don’t perform an abortion. What about the birth complications that can result from even the healthiest pregnancies? I nearly died after a VERY wanted pregnancy, and let me tell you, no woman should have to endure that kind of trauma involuntarily. Why do women now have to fear both being raped and having to carry a piece of our attacker with us for nine months and possibly the rest of our lives? Why do women who lose a baby naturally have to be further traumatized by having to prove we didn’t do it on purpose if we want to stay out of jail? If our country is supposed to have “justice for all,” then where is the justice for women?
